Wedding season is upon us, and while it's an exciting time for couples tying the knot, it can also be a stressful time for guests who are unsure about wedding etiquette. From RSVPs to dress codes, gifts to behavior, there's a lot to keep in mind. So, to help you navigate this social minefield, we've put together a modern guide to wedding etiquette for guests.

RSVPs

When you receive a wedding invitation, the first thing you should do is RSVP. RSVP stands for "Répondez s'il vous plaît," which is French for "Please respond." It's important to respond promptly, so the couple knows how many guests to expect. Even if you are unable to attend, you must RSVP quickly.  You can RSVP by mail or online, whichever method the couple has provided. If the invitation doesn't specify how to RSVP, don't be afraid to ask the couple.

Dress

Dressing for a wedding can be tricky. The first thing to consider is the dress code. The invitation should indicate whether it's a black-tie, semi-formal, or casual event. If you're not sure what to wear, it's always better to err on the side of being overdressed. It's better to be the best-dressed guest than the worst-dressed one.

For women, a cocktail dress or full length gown is acceptable. Avoid wearing white, as it's the bride's color. For casual events, a sundress or slacks with a blouse is appropriate. Avoid wearing anything too provocative or revealing or too casual. You don't want to draw attention away from the couple. 

For men, a tuxedo is appropriate for a black-tie wedding, while a dark suit is appropriate for a semi-formal wedding. For a casual wedding, a blazer and dress pants are acceptable. Avoid wearing jeans, shorts, or sneakers.

If you are not sure if your outfit is appropriate, ask ahead of time. 

See our article on Wedding Fashion for more information.

Gifts

Gift-giving can be a source of confusion for guests. The first thing to consider is whether the couple has registered for gifts. If they have, it's best to choose something from their registry. This ensures that the couple will receive something they want and need. 

If the couple hasn't registered, you can choose a thoughtful and practical gift. Some ideas include a gift card to their favorite restaurant or store. You can also give them money in a card or contribute to their honeymoon fund.

It's also important to consider your budget when choosing a gift. You don't have to spend a lot of money to give a meaningful gift. It's the thought that counts.

Considerate Behavior

Finally, let's talk about behavior. Weddings are a joyous occasion, but they're also a formal event. As a guest, it's important to be on your best behavior. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Be punctual. Arrive on time, or even a few minutes early, so you don't disrupt the ceremony.

• Be respectful. During the ceremony, turn off your phone and avoid talking or whispering.

• Be mindful of others. Don't block the view of others during the ceremony or reception.

• Be courteous. Don't drink too much alcohol or cause a scene on the dance floor.

• Be grateful. Thank the couple for inviting you and express your congratulations.

Attending a wedding as a guest can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's not just a party. It's a formal event that requires proper etiquette. By being mindful of others you'll be sure to make a good impression and enjoy a memorable event with the happy couple.

Modern Wedding Etiquette Do’s

Now that you have a good grasp of the basics, here are some guidelines for modern wedding etiquette:

1. Keep Your Phone Put Away

While it may be tempting to take photos or videos during the ceremony, it's important to be present in the moment. Couples hire professionals to photograph and video their wedding. Let them do their best work by staying out of the sight lines and keeping your phone away during the ceremony. There will be lots of opportunities to grab photos at the reception. It is your job to smile and look good so the photos you are in are not of a phone blocking your face. 

2. Respect the Couple's Wishes

If the couple requests no children or no alcohol at the wedding, respect their wishes. It's their special day, and they have a right to set the rules.

3. Don't Bring Uninvited Guests

If the invitation is addressed only to you, don't bring a plus one or a friend without checking with the couple first. It's important to respect their guest list and budget.

4. Be Mindful of Dietary Restrictions

If you have been invited to a seated dinner and you have any dietary restrictions or allergies, let the couple know as soon as possible. They will appreciate your consideration, and it will make their planning process easier. Buffets are easier for guests to steer their choices to appropriate dishes.

5. Send Your Gift in Advance

If you're unable to attend the wedding, it's still important to send a gift. Send it in advance, so the couple receives it before or shortly after their big day. Wrapped gifts sent ahead of the wedding day are appreciated. It saves the couple the task of managing and  transporting gifts the day of the wedding.  Please do not expect the couple to open your gift at the wedding.  

Modern wedding etiquette is all about being respectful, considerate, and mindful of the couple's wishes. By following these guidelines, you'll be sure to have a great time and show your appreciation for the happy couple. Remember, a wedding is a celebration of love, and it's up to all of us to make it a memorable event for everyone involved.